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Dog trning huntington beach
dog trning huntington beach
They are all over the house and will be for a month. We will be in the house during that time also. We are both very careful around them but when something is bothering them for a few days it has to be addressed. The cat is fine, they seem to enjoy each other. We would love to have them in the house for awhile.
Thanks for any help.
AnswerHello, you've gotten a lot of good advice already, and I'm pretty sure that most of us who answer questions on this site know exactly how to approach something as delicate as a cat-dog relationship. However, just so you know, there's a difference between the behavior of a cat and the behavior of a dog, and it's important to understand the dynamics of each.
Cats are very good at manipulating people. It's their thing. They don't do this to make you mad or anything. They do it because it makes them feel strong. Cats know exactly how to make you feel weak, they're just not going to try to make you feel that way.
It's just their way of getting things done. In this case, maybe your dog has been trned poorly enough that he's misbehaving, and your cat is getting a good laugh out of making your dog bark and whine and chase him around the room.
When your dog is barking and yelping and lunging at your cat, your cat is making him feel small. It's just part of the game. So you have to figure out what your dog needs to be taught, and how to teach it to him, but it's also important to figure out what your cat needs to be taught, and how to teach it to her.
It's not about punishing your dog, or even punishing your cat. It's about making sure they're both happy.
I'd definitely have to ask you how well your dog and cat get along in general, because that's the most important thing. Cats don't like dogs, dogs don't like cats, and as long as you're happy having both of them, they'll both be happy, and that's the goal.
A few things I'd suggest you learn about yourself are how to not be a controlling person, and also how to not be an irrational person.
The first one is, it's important to understand that it's not about you. I'll give you an example: if you say, "I don't want you to be friends with that dog," but your dog keeps showing up to the window to beg for food, and when you tell your dog not to do that, he does it anyway, it's not about you.
It's about your dog being a good dog, and not wanting to embarrass himself in front of the people he lives with, and wanting to eat and be loved.
The other thing is, be aware of your irrationality. One of the things you are supposed to tell yourself when you're experiencing irrationality is, "There is no reason for this." And there really isn't. It's about what the person has internalized as the "law," or what they think their role is in the world. It's not about you. It's about them and their experience. That's one thing I learned.
I used to have some problems, that is I would get myself into situations where I thought I was going to lose control, like if I was walking around with a bottle of alcohol and thinking about what I'd do when I got back home.
I was always told to avoid that, because that was how I get into trouble.
But when I learned that it wasn't about me, that it was just me taking my feelings on board, that's when things started to get better.
It was about me and my role in the world and how I behaved.
**G.** | **And that's a really important distinction to make. If the other person thinks that the whole world is revolving around them, then when you're not responding the way they expect you to, they're really lost and feel really, really, really bad.**
**S.** | **Yes, because there's a feeling of isolation and rejection.**
**G.** | **That's very true.**
**S.** | **It's not about the person having a horrible night, and the horrible experience that you had. It's really about what you did. It's about, "Did I do my part in keeping my part of the equation in balance?" So when I am experiencing a loss of control, it's about, "Did I do my part in keeping the person I was in a healthy, functional, emotionally safe environment?" And if I have done my part, I'm not responsible for the person I was in any way.**
**G.** | **So we look at the experience and say, "What did I do, and what can I do, to take my experiences on?"**
**S.** | **And not what the other person has done or how they've behaved toward me, but what I have done or what I haven't done. And that, for me, feels like a massive shift.**
**G.** | **And for the other person?**
**S.** | **Well, for them, they feel terrible about the way they behave, but they don't have any responsibility for their feelings. They're not looking at it in terms of the role they have in keeping the experience safe. They're blaming it on the other person, and they feel terrible about themselves.**
**G.** | **Okay, and that's a huge difference to their psyche.**
**S.** | **So the people who have a lot of unresolved trauma, they can be quite frightened.**
**G.** | **And the way you have handled them, they now know you understand it's not their fault, but it's in them to feel that way. And they know that they don't need to blame or punish themselves or anybody else. They don't feel responsible for this thing.**
**S.** | **It gives them some relief, it opens them up, and their hearts feel lighter. They feel more safe.**
**G.** | **So let's look at what happens after that.**
**S.** | **If you're going to stay in a relationship after you feel that way, they are going to feel as though you want to see them get better. I'm going to treat them better because they're getting better. You've seen them get better. I'm safe.**
**G.** | **How do you know you're safe?**
**S.** | **I think it's the willingness of your partner to be vulnerable with you. It comes back to trust.**
**G.** | **It's not only willingness, though, is it? If they're willing, that's a big thing. It's knowing that if they're willing to tell you, they're open. It's knowing that they are safe with you. It's knowing that if they do tell you, they'll be okay with it. That's got a lot to do with it, as well.**
**S.** | **I think when people come to you, if they've been abused, they're probably wanting something. They're probably wanting something you can give them. The way you've been offering them something, it seems to be working.**